Bereavement is something that many of us manage badly, very few of us are allowed to grieve in the way we would wish, or even have the courage to work through it. Equally there are numerous occasions where people are expected to just get on with life, with friends and often family as well not appreciating the pain you may be going through.
A huge amount of time can be spent planning the right send off for the loved one, the correct funeral and ensuring that all is perfect in every way to pay respects, so much is put into this day to honour the person who has died, in amongst this the family will be struggling with the passing of their loved one. After the funeral what happens????
Often after the funeral and the wake everyone leaves and over the next few weeks the phone stops ringing and people stop asking how you are, they assumption is that your life will be soon returning to normal, and you will be managing with everything.
This is where it all goes wrong – there will be paperwork to deal with, siblings, in laws, children to deal with, emotions either raw or healing, grief guilt and numerous feelings that will be circulating. There is no perfect situation for someone’s death but in my experience the aftermath is often the same.
I have looked below to provide you with some thought as to how the remedies can help you and how they can ease the rawness of the emotion to help you through the difficult times.
If the passing is sudden and unexpected as can often happen – then the in the now remedy is Rescue Remedy – the beauty of this is that it will provide you with a more relaxed approach to the world.
After this the Star of Bethlehem remedy for the shock and trauma of the event, to help to reduce the adrenalin that can be produced at this time and to allow you to relax and feel more at ease, once the shock is gently eased you will find everything much easier.
The Gorse remedy can be very beneficial to help ease the sense of despair and despondency if it is a sudden passing – Gorse can help to restore your faith in human nature and allow you to realise that there life is worth living and you are worth it. Ultimately you will start to feel inspired.
Pine can be a huge benefit to help relieve the guilt, this is exceedingly common, whatever the cause of the passing. Guilt is a huge problem within grief as there will often be things that we wish we had done differently or better. Things we wish we had said or done differently and now unable to undo. Pine will gently ease the negativity and allow you to see past this and look to a more positive outlook. Guilt is a hugely negative emotion that can cause more pain than you need to have.
Sadly, another remedy that can be useful is Holly – this is for anger. If the death of a loved one stirs this up, then it will be through a feeling of rejection and inconvenience and possibly as a result of discovering of things that need to be done after their passing. Holly will allow you to think with your heart and not your rage, it will allow you to approach others openly and with good will and the anger will fade.
Depending of the situation and the amount of work that is required after the passing of a loved one Elm maybe a very useful remedy, this is for overwhelm – so for the situation where even the smallest thing can be too much for you – in the case for the straw that breaks the camels back. Elm will allow you to see the wood for the trees and be able to cope with everything that you need to do.
This is just a handful of remedies that could be useful, and I hope that they could be useful to you – there are a lot more that we can also look at but it is a very personal situation and requirement.
Please let me know if you would like to talk.