Grief and bereavement – the loss of a pet
A few weeks ago, I did a post about grief and bereavement, and when you mention this most people relate it to the loss of a person, relative close friend etc but it can also relate to our four legged friends also. My husband and I are also at the beginning of our bereavement journey as the result of the sudden loss of our beautiful little dog Snoopy.
What happened?
In summary, Snoopy was sick and clearly in a lot of pain and distress, and as a result of a scan which showed a significant problem in his stomach and intestine, he had surgery from which he never recovered. He passed away on the early hours of Saturday 18th November. This little doggy was only 9 and the life and soul of our house, always on the go, always busy and constantly providing love and care whilst maintaining his own independence.
Where do we start with the immediate grief
My husband and I are now in a state of shock, and until today looking for answers to 100’s of questions. What did we miss what did we do wrong etc? These are all being answered, and we are gradually coming to terms with what happened. We now look to living with the future, without our bubbly little friend.
As you can imagine the Rescue remedy is being used throughout the day and in times when conversation is needed about him, it is essential as it is very hard for us to discuss anything. Even reading nice messages from people is difficult to do without a lump in the throat.
There is also a blend of remedies which we shared up until today and I felt that I had the need to make something slightly different for me. The first blend was to deal with the shock and despair and total disbelief. Star of Bethlehem for the trauma and shock Gorse for the utter despair and loss, Cherry plum for the loss of emotional control, Holly for the anger and injustice, Walnut for the protection from change – manage the change in the house, and Elm for the feeling of being totally overwhelmed by emotions.
Gentle steps forward
So today is a week since Snoopy was first ill, and 5 days since he passed over the Rainbow bridge, I have been taking the remedies as per the paragraph above and gradually things are feeling a little easier. Certainly, around talking about it – especially to people who have had a similar experience. I have been working and taking the Rescue Remedy in times which I know are hard ie. Speaking to the vet etc.
I have also taken Hornbeam to help me get back into work, and Impatiens for my frustrations with the processes to find out how and why Snoopy passed away. The Hornbeam is helping me to actually get on with life – to not hide away and to get back to where I need to be. It’s a slow process but I know we will get there.
The other thing that is happening is that my husband are probably talking more to each other now that we have for a little while as we are discussing our grief and bereavement processes and emotions. There was always a lot of talk about the dog and “to” the dog!! Generally getting to discuss how we really feel each day and the changes in our routine.
Moving forward and allowing the grief and bereavement to pass
There are so many questions moving forward, shall we have another one? Immediately afterwards the answer is no!!! can’t do the pain and the discomfort of it all, and then you have pangs of yes please I need one to fill a hole! That’s not the right reason to get another one. So, we have our daughter’s dog to borrow from time to time and for not there is always borrow my doggy if we are desperate.
Clear plan is not at least until after our holidays which are prebooked and cannot be changed. Then there is what and how and what breed and all the other questions or do we just learn to readjust and switch off and not worry about another dog and enjoy our life and peace and quiet and time with the grandchildren.
Who knows what the future holds but for now the grief and bereavement will pass gently and life with settle into a new norm, it will never be the same again but a different norm without the most beautiful little soul in the world – our wonderful Snoopy who was loved by all he met and always described as being so “cute”.
In summary
I will keep you posted and updated with how I continue to feel and where the remedies take both hubby and me. It’s been a long time since I have been through the process so it will be an interesting journey.
