How the Bach Flower remedies helped me?

For many years 60 was the age I was due to retire, then the powers that be changed to 65 and now its 67!  A moveable feast if ever there was one.  I am now 66 but still working but have had time to contemplate things. Also how I became a therapist and so many people tell me that I have such an understanding of so many things. So here is the story of How the Bach Flower remedies have helped me.

One of the advantages of getting older is that you have experienced so much and looking back there is little I have not seen or heard and this enables me to see, feel and understand other people’s pain and emotions in a lot of situations

Where we begin – My childhood memories I am sad to say are not as happy as I would have liked them, lots of could do better, homework enforcement, and some pretty heavy discipline – not the fault of the elders as that was the upbringing that they had experienced.  Dad taught at the same school that I went to, so as you can imagine school life was interesting too – bullying was a prevalent even back then. Back then we had the 11 plus exam – how derisive was that at the age of 10 taking an exam to decide which school you went to.  If you passed in theory, you had more chance of university and if you failed it was tougher.  This exam was something that I was expected to pass and, in those days, there was no such thing as practice papers it was all about what you managed to remember on the day.  I don’t remember the exam nerves, the bit I do remember is waiting for the results – I absolutely dreaded giving my parents the envelope and not getting the right results.  Thank goodness I passed – the fear that I was taught about the possibility of failing was quite horrendous.

I now of course am aware of the complete picture and extremely challenging this was.  No one thought about it then or even bothered – that was the system and that was what we did.

I went to the school where my father taught, whilst he never taught me, I never fitted in anywhere, other students were wary of me, others thought I could get all the information for exams etc, it was very difficult, and I was bullied.  I loved my tennis and threw myself into that and just learnt to keep my head down and stay out of the way.  It was miserable if I am honest, and I couldn’t wait to get out and get on with life.

The joy and delight of going to college was amazing, studying what I needed and wanted to do – an Intensive business course – the pleasure was awesome and thankfully also very successful.

1.Life experience – bullying, anti-social behaviour, segregation – intelligence based – all ticked.

So adult hood and work life begins – having trained in secretarial and business = I landed on my feet working for a company in London selling typewriter ribbons and carbon paper – I was one of their top reps for 5 years. We were a women lead business, one of the best in the country, and all given two beautiful Windsmoor suits every 6 months, gorgeous cloths to make you feel a million dollars when you went to work.  This company knew how to look after their staff – it was fantastic.

2.Another life experience – care for the people around you, however in sales you keep your persona life at home.

During this time, I sadly lost my fiancé died in a car accident – I look back now and wonder how I got through it – but I did and wonder that you weren’t expected to grieve – there was no support mechanism you just worked through it.

3.Life experience – deep grief and sorrow – ticked

My grief resulted in me moving out to Corfu to simply have a good time and put the past behind me, I had a fabulous time working for an amazing company and made some lifelong friends, but sadly met and married a man who turned out to be an alcoholic narcissist and sadly a violent one as well.  Thankfully we came back to the UK 5 days before my daughter was born and within 6 months he was gone.

4.Life experience – recovery from fear, lack of confidence, being a single parent and everything else that went with it. – ticked

When my daughter was 9 months old, I was rushed into hospital with ruptured ovarian cyst, and within 3 years I had 3 more gynae operations and also developed breast cancer.  Thanks to my parents I had care for the most part while I got over the ops, but it wasn’t easy.  I was also trying to work as well as I had no financial support.

5.Life experience – self help to recover from the surgery – ticked.

In many ways the gynae ops gave me a huge sense of freedom – although as a result I couldn’t have more children I was no long in pain and suffering.  The breast cancer was sorted and although it was back in the early 90’s when “the Big C” was a frightening phrase and many people didn’t know how to manage it, I got through it and continued to plough my furrow.

6.Life experience – Moving on to happier times, remarrying – ticked. When my daughter was 7 I met my now husband and although we have had our ups and downs (as is life) we have been together 30 years and married for 28 of them, we are a solid partnership/ He has given me confidence and courage and helped me get through the rubbish of my early 30’s – he has been my therapist.  My daughter has also been my rock and we are very close, she’s had a rough ride with her father and that is now a closed book which while hard she’s managed to come to terms with it at last.  It has been very damaging over the years, but I feel we are there now. During this time I found the world of holistic therapy

7.Life experience – changes and family -During this time, I have also lost my dad to dementia, and now mum is in the same position, dealt with mental health problems within the family – thankfully now for me. Managed a very difficult and demanding job – which probably took too much of my time away from my family

8.Life experience – learning to accept that we can all make mistakes, not to push others away when they want to help, how to bring up a young family and involve stepparents as well, managing the juggling of a demanding job, running a home, bringing up children and the overwhelm that can come in. Coping with grief, dementia, and the ramifications of that also.  I am one of the sandwich generations – elderly mum – now in care home and young grandchildren who brings us hours of fun and joy – life is good and getting better

In summary. In answer to the question how the Bach Flower Remedies have helped me – I have been taking the remedies for the last 24 years since I first came across them.  I have spent 6 months while doing my training with a therapist myself and now am able to provide remedies for anyone around me but also myself.

People ask about my resilience and in all honesty I don’t look at it like that for me its been a process of life.  We are all dealt a different set of cards and we need to simply process them and move slowly through our life.

My remedies have provided me with relief from exhaustion inspiration, confidence, the ability to forgive and forget and be thankful

However, now with the work that I do as a therapist I am thankful that I can offer a full understanding of life and many elements that come into it, with the knowledge as to how I coped and also can offer empathy and care knowing I have been there, worn the T shirt and seen the film. If you would like to learn more please contact me on www.remediesbyros.com I would love to help you